


The Plans We Had

by gehirnstuerm



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Coda, Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-23
Updated: 2011-05-23
Packaged: 2017-10-19 17:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/203405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gehirnstuerm/pseuds/gehirnstuerm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode tag for 1x24. Danny tries to deal with the aftermath of the recent events. Decisions are made and endings turn out to be new beginnings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Plans We Had

**Author's Note:**

> Even though this is shameless fix-it fic, it turned out pretty angsty in parts. But fear not, for everything is going to be fine in the end! My trusted beta **wattle_neurotic** even mentioned rainbows and kittens! ;)

It’s been four weeks. Four long weeks full of dead ends, frustration and sneaking around and this day isn’t any different. Danny has spent half of the morning following a lead, but things are considerably harder if you don’t have a badge to flash. It would have been a total bust if it hadn’t been for Toast and his resourcefulness. But that’s it, that’s all Danny can do unless he hears back from Toast or gets new information from Kaye’s mysterious contacts.

They knew getting Steve out of prison wouldn’t be an easy task, even with Chin acting as the team’s HPD inside man. They’re making progress, they are, but it seems impossibly slow. The mere thought of Steve biding his time in solitary confinement makes Danny’s insides clench painfully. The pleading look on Steve’s face when he had been pushed into the police care has been haunting ever since the day when everything went to hell. Not being able to visit Steve is pure torture, but it probably was to be expected.

The HPD have nothing on Danny, but after everything that went down not only with Steve but also with Kono, Danny’s suspension and the time he spent under surveillance were only logical. Chin talks to Steve regularly under the pretense of investigation and Mary has flown in from the mainland to visit Steve as often as possible and take part in the investigation, despite Steve’s protests. Danny can’t say he blames her. She’s a McGarrett after all and sitting idly by is not the McGarretts’ thing.

So in theory, Danny knows how Steve is doing, but it isn’t enough. He wants to see for himself, he wants to talk to him, wants to look him in the eye and tell him everything is going to be okay, he needs to. Chin has promised to make it happen, to get Danny on the list of approved visitors, and he promised to do it soon - and that’s just another message Danny’s waiting for.

Patience really isn’t his strong suit, which is why he ends up driving around in the Camaro instead of doing nothing in his craphole of an apartment. He used to complain so much about Steve driving his car all the time, but now Danny can’t get any satisfaction in having the car all to himself.

It amazing, really, how much a life can change in the course of no more than 24 hours.

One day Danny has this crazy but great job with these people he loves like family and this insane partner he trusts with his life, he’s actually starting to feel at home on this godforsaken island and the long-cherished dream of getting his little family back is finally coming true. The next day Steve gets arrested for murder, Kono is busted for the money theft, Five-0 is no more and Danny’s pregnant ex-wife/girlfriend is on her way to New Jersey with their beloved daughter, leaving Danny without a clue as to what to do next.

At first Danny had felt like the rug had been pulled from under him - and truth to be told, the feeling hasn’t really subsided yet. They’re all in such deep, deep shit - it’s hard to see the light. Of course, for everyone including Kono, getting Steve out of prison had been the main priority - they can work out everything else later.

Rachel understands, she really does - thank God for small favors. She knows Steve needs his help, she knows Danny can’t just pack up his things and leave his team alone in this mess. Of course being separated from Gracie for so long hurts, he misses her like crazy. At least he knows Gracie is happy with her mom and her grandparents and he can talk to her on the phone, he can touch base with her and Rachel every night.

But not having Steve around is hard, too. Much harder than Danny could have ever imagined. Frankly, it’s more than a little scary.

The faint buzzing of his phone pulls Danny out of his thoughts. The short text message makes him perform a sharp u-turn with the Camaro, traffic be damned.

 

 _Visitors hours now. Hurry up and say hi to the boss._

 

***

 

Danny has walked through these corridors countless times, has sat down on one side of the security glass to speak with inmates, ask them a few questions. But this time everything is different. He isn’t here as a cop and he isn’t here to see some random felon to follow up on a lead. Danny’s heart is racing and he keeps fidgeting in his seat while he’s waiting for Steve to be brought in.

Danny makes out the familiar frame dressed in prison-orange and flanked by guards before Steve gets the chance to notice him. Out of impulse, Danny leaps to his feet, even though it doesn’t make any sense at all. It’s not like he can shake Steve’s hand much less pull him into a hug. When he spots Danny, Steve’s stony expression changes abruptly. Even from a distance, Danny can see how Steve’s whole face lights up and suddenly it’s getting hard to breathe.

Then Steve is standing right in front of him, well, almost right in front of him, and Danny is completely taken by surprise by the strength of his own reaction. He’s happy to see Steve, overjoyed even, which explains the grin that is undoubtedly splitting his face in two right now. There’s also a good amount of anger, which is not surprising, but it also hurts to see him like this and the urge to reach out and touch him is almost overwhelming.

It’s only when Steve awkwardly gestures towards the telephone receiver that Danny realizes they’ve been staring at each other for a few moments too long. He sits down a little jerkily and picks up the receiver as Steve does the same.

“No tie, Danno?” is the first thing Steve says. His voice sounds a little raspy, but his tone his teasing and Danny is ridiculously happy to hear it.

He huffs out a little laugh. “Just for you, babe!”

There’s no need for professional attire when you’re out of your profession, at least temporarily. It’s been a while since Danny last spent so many days in a row in jeans and t-shirt, but he’s getting used to it.

“I like it,” Steve says with a little smile that Danny can’t help returning.

“I know. Your hair is short!” Danny answers, which prompts Steve to run a hand through his now close-cropped hair and grin a little sheepishly. Something inside Danny relaxes. The familiar banter is comforting, grounding and from the look on Steve’s face Danny can guess he feels the same.

Danny grips the receiver more tightly and clears his throat. “Listen, I would have come sooner, but... “

“I know, Danny. Don’t worry,” Steve interrupts. “Mary told me. I expected as much. It’s good to see you.”

Steve’s face is so open and vulnerable, it kills Danny a little. It isn’t at all what he had expected. After everything that went down, Danny had feared Steve would shut down completely, gone on one of his closed off SEAL modes. This clearly isn’t the case.

“You too,” Danny answers, surprised by the softness in his own voice. “How are you holding up?”

Steve’s smile falters a little, but he catches himself quickly. “I’m okay.” When Danny opens his mouth to object, he holds up a hand. “No, really, Danny. I’m okay. It isn’t fun, that’s for sure. The food is bad and I get a little bored. A bit lonely maybe.” He cast his eyes down and pauses before he looks up again. “Don’t worry too much, okay?”

Danny only manages a noncommittal grunt, because of course he’s going to worry. They are all going to worry. A lot.

Steve must know it, too, because he changes the subject. “So, how are things with Rachel? How’s Grace?”

Danny’s gut twists uncomfortably at the mention of Rachel and he sincerely hopes it doesn’t show on his face. Steve is still oblivious to Danny’s plans to move back to New Jersey, he has no idea how close Danny’s been to leaving right on the spot. The mere thought makes Danny feel nauseatingly guilty. Now he can’t really understand why he had agreed so willingly to leave right away, drop everything, no questions asked. He may be a hothead, but he’s hardly a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy. Of course he goes where Grace goes, no doubt about it. And now there’s a new baby on the way, so he doesn’t really have to think about it. He wants to be, needs to be near his children. But the least Danny owes his team is an explanation and a proper goodbye - even if it will break his heart.

Danny swallows hard and averts his eyes. “Fine. Everyone’s fine. Gracie says Hi, by the way!”

 

***

 

It’s only early afternoon but breaking out something stronger than beer feels absolutely appropriate to Danny. He pours himself some bourbon and flops down on his sorry excuse for a bed. He has already talked to Grace on the phone for a few minutes, which always goes a long way for lightening his mood, but it didn’t last. As soon as he’d hung up, the queasy feeling in Danny’s stomach was back.

Seeing Steve was great, but their time together was too short and the whole visit has shaken him more that could have ever imagined. He can’t forget the hard look on Steve’s face, the one that was instantly wiped away, when Steve pretty much lit up like a Christmas tree. Danny knows his partner too well, he can imagine how Steve spends his days blaming himself for everything that went wrong, thinking about the betrayal, about the fact that the sole purpose of the Five-0 task force they have all come to be proud of, was to keep him occupied. Danny can almost see Steve mulling over all these things with a tortured expression on his face - and no one’s there to snap him out of it.

Danny is relieved when his phone buzzes and Rachel’s face appears on the screen.

“Hey Rachel,” Danny says and before Rachel even speaks, he knows his voice has given too much away.

“What happened?” Rachel asks, her voice mildly alarmed.

“Nothing,” Danny makes a throwaway motion with his hand, even though Rachel can’t see it. Then again, she knows him so well that she probably knows it’s there anyway. “It’s just... I saw Steve today.”

“How is he? Is he all right?” Rachel sounds genuinely concerned.

“You know Steve. He’s bored when he can’t blow shit up,” Danny tries to joke, but fails miserably. He might as well drop the act. He draws a shuddering breath before he continues. “I don’t know, Rachel. He looked so... so lost.”

There a long silence on the other end of the line, but then Danny can hear Rachel sigh softly. “You know you can’t leave him, Daniel.”

“No, of course not!” Danny huffs. “I have to get him out of jail first, clear his name!”

Rachel sounds serious now. “That’s not what I meant. You can’t leave him, period. And I shouldn’t make you.”

Danny can feel his pulse quicken. “What are you talking about? We’ve been through this. I want to be with Grace and with you and the baby!”

“I know,” Rachel answers softly and she sounds like she’s smiling. “I know you would follow us. But you shouldn’t have to. Not again. You have a life in Hawaii and Grace does, too... it would be selfish of me to drag you both across the globe again. I’ve been thinking... If you of all people were able to make yourself at home in Hawaii, maybe I can, too.”

“You’re coming back? You’re really coming back? When?” Danny asks incredulously, but he can already feel the relief flooding through him, the excitement starting to bubble up. And who would have thought there would be a day when he preferred Hawaii over New Jersey? Danny must have lost his mind.

“Yes, we’re coming back.” Rachel laughs. “I don’t know when, exactly. But I’ve already hired a realtor to find a place for us.” There’s a pause before Rachel continues. “A place for me and Grace and the baby.”

The phrasing hits Danny like a punch in the gut. “Wait a sec. Wait,” he demands sharply. “For you and Grace and the baby? Is there something else you want to tell me?”

“I know you love me --,” Rachel starts and Danny has a distinct feeling where this is going, as it gives his insides an uncomfortable twist.

“Are you dumping me? Again?” Danny interrupts, his voice still controlled. “Is this the ‘It’s not you, it’s me' speech, because if it is, you can shove it.”

“No,” Rachel answers. “No, it isn’t. Just hear me out. I know you love me and I love you. But I’ve been thinking a lot the past few weeks and... are we really in love? Is it enough?”

Danny wants to protest that, yes, of course they’re in love, but he can’t. The time after his near-death experience was like a dream. He was so stupidly happy with Rachel, actually he was a little dazed with happiness. It had felt so good, so right, just like coming home. It evoked all the happy memories from all those years ago, when they were young and so very much in love, and it was easy to forget everything that happened in the meantime. But truth is, after everything had gone to hell, after Rachel had left, Danny had crashed from the high he’d been on earlier.

Danny knows Rachel has interpreted his silence right, when she continues in a soft, apologetic voice. “I wanted this to work. I wanted a fresh start with you and Grace and the new baby, I wanted it so much! But maybe we’ve been fooling ourselves, Daniel. There are reasons why it didn’t work out between us the first time around. I don’t want to hate you again. And I don’t want to look at you again and know you hate me.”

“I never hated you,” Danny interjects and his voice sounds unfamiliar to his own ears.

“Yes, you did. In the end you did. We were so unhappy.” Rachel pauses for a moment. Her voice sounds shaky when she adds, “Grace was unhappy.”

Danny knows it’s true and if he’s entirely honest, all these things have been present in the back of his head for the past couple of weeks, but he’s been too afraid to think about them. It figures that Rachel was the one to have the balls to admit their mistake.

“You’re right,” Danny agrees. He wants to say more, but it feels like there’s a lump in his throat and his eyes sting, so he doesn’t really trust his voice.

They’re not in love, they’ve been deluding themselves - but knowing this doesn’t make it any less painful. Their love story may have ended years ago, but Danny never accepted it. Despite all the bitterness he’d always nursed the dream of getting back together with Rachel, of living a happy life with her and Grace as a family. Getting impossibly closer to fulfilling this dream only to realize it isn’t going to work, hurts like hell.

Danny doesn’t speak for a long time and neither does Rachel, but he can hear her soft sniffling, even though she’s probably doing her best to hide it.

“It was nice while it lasted, though,” Danny finally says, his voice cracking.

There’s a little sound on the other end of the line, part sob, part strangled laugh. “Yes, it was.”

Danny takes a deep breath and clears his throat, trying to get a grip on his emotions. Everything will be fine, he tells himself. Everything will be good. Grace will be back in Hawaii soon, the baby will grow up in Hawaii. Things are good between him and Rachel, it will different now. He gets to have his family without leaving his ‘ohana. Without leaving Steve. The thought gives his stomach a little jolt.

“Listen, Rachel,” Danny starts, “do you think your realtor guy could help me out, too? I mean, it would be nice to have you guys in the same neighborhood - and I wouldn’t want you guys anywhere near my crappy apartment complex.”

Rachel laughs, a genuinely happy sound this time. “No, you really wouldn’t. Steve would have to say a thing or two about that.”

“I’d never hear the end of it,” Danny agrees, grinning now. “Talk to you tomorrow?”

“Of course. See you soon, Daniel!”

“Yes, see you soon.” This makes Danny smile even more. “Oh, and Rachel? What exactly did you mean with all the ‘You can’t leave him’ talk earlier?” he adds as an afterthought, even though if he’s completely honest with himself, Danny knows the answer of his question already. Rachel really knows him too well.

“Come on, Danny! You’re a detective!” she laughs and hangs up, leaving Danny alone with his thoughts.

 

***

 

It takes two more weeks to get Steve out of prison, to punch enough holes in Wo Fat’s set-up to at least get him out on bail. Danny had assumed he would be the one to pick Steve up from prison, but now Kono is off to get Steve out. He can’t deny he’s a little disappointed, but he gets it, he really does.

Kono hadn’t been allowed to visit him at all and after their short encounter at HPD the night Steve got arrested, she hadn’t been able to forget the shocked expression on Steve’s face. Kono is a tough cookie, but Danny knows this had gotten to her more than the deep mess she was faced with - and still is.

They’re all at Steve’s house, waiting for his return. Chin is busy with the grill while Kamekona is cooking something unspeakable in the kitchen, Jenna is mostly fidgeting and Mary has apparently decided a beer is the right antidote for nervous anticipation. Danny is sorely tempted to follow suit, because he hates waiting. He can’t wait to see Steve again - and as much as he hates to admit it, he’s ridiculously nervous.

Of course they all are, to a certain degree, but as far as Danny knows, he’s the only one who has recently come to terms with the fact that yes, he’s more than willing to give this thing with Steve a shot and see where it takes them. If Steve wants to, that is.

It’s a scary thought, because while he’s always been aware of the flirting, the touching and the lingering looks, he’d chosen to stay on the safe side and refuse to think about these things any further. Plausible deniability and all that. But now things are different and Danny hopes they can pick up where they left off - despite everything that has happened.

When a car pulls into Steve’s driveway, Danny is not the only one who leaps to his feet. He hears the clatter of dishes in the sink before Kamekona emerges from the kitchen and a second later Chin steps in from the lanai. They hear the sound of car doors open and close, footsteps and then finally the front door opens.

Danny’s heart pretty much skips a beat when Steve enters the house and for a horrible second he’s afraid his knees are going to give out. He would never hear the end of it. But Steve is really here, the same old Steve wearing the same black ninja gear he’d worn the night of his arrest along with one of the goofiest grins Danny has ever seen on him. His hair is a little longer than two weeks ago and it looks like Steve hasn’t shaved in a week. Somehow the heavy stubble makes him even more attractive. Bastard.

Mary is the first one to fly into Steve’s arms. Steve holds her tightly and presses a kiss on his little sister’s hair. By the time he releases her, it’s obvious that Mary is crying, even though she tries her best to conceal it. Danny watches how Steve catches Chin in a bear hug, wraps his arms around Jenna next and hardly makes it through Kamekona’s bone-crushing embrace, before he finally faces Danny.

Time seems to stretch a little when Steve is standing right in front of him with this fond look in his eyes and the urge to just pull him in and kiss him is almost too strong. But before Danny can act on this impulse in front of everyone, Steve’s arms are finally wrapped around him. Danny just closes his eyes and holds on tightly, burying his nose in the crook of Steve’s neck, just breathing in his scent and enjoying the feel of being enveloped by Steve’s warmth. He could stay like this for hours, but he’s dimly aware that the hug is already going on a little too long. Steve seems to have come to the same conclusion, because his arms tighten around Danny for a few seconds before Steve releases him reluctantly. When he finally steps back, Danny knows he’s grinning like a love-sick idiot, but he can’t bring himself to care.

 

***

 

Danny had no idea how much he’d missed this, just hanging out with these people, talking, joking around, having fun. He hadn’t realized it until now, but it’s been weeks since he’s laughed, really laughed until his belly ached. They’re all sitting on the beach behind Steve’s house, and by now they’re so well-fed with steaks and comfortably tipsy, that even Danny doesn’t mind the sand. Steve has ended up right beside Danny, like he always does, and if their shoulders or knees bump occasionally, Danny doesn’t mind at all. He mostly resists the urge to touch Steve all the time, as if to make sure he’s really there, but he allows himself to slump against Steve from time to time or lean closer than strictly necessary to talk to him.

Kamekona is telling a story about the one time when Grace beat Kamekona and his cousins at poker and everyone’s hooting with laughter. It’s almost as if nothing has happened at all and for one night they’re all willing to pretend that it’s true. They can deal with all the other crap later. Today is reserved for the happy reunion - and it’s probably the right time for more happy news.

“Um, guys? Listen up!” Danny says, once he has recovered from his laughing fit. “I have an announcement to make!” Danny waits until all eyes are on him, which takes a while, because Kono and Mary are still giggling. Danny gives them a stern look. “Are you done? Good. Anyway. I have some news I want to share with you.” He knows he’s grinning again, so decides to forgo the drum-rolls and cut right to the chase. “I’m becoming a father again!”

There’s a moment of silence, but then he’s drowning in a sea of congratulations, back-clapping and excited chatter, but the fact that Steve tenses up next to him for a split second, doesn’t escape Danny’s notice. He recovers quickly though, and before he knows it, Danny finds himself in a little one-armed embrace.

“But that was fast, brah!” Kono comments, taking another swig from her beer bottle.

Danny grimaces, a little embarrassed. “Yeah, I know.”

Kono tilts her head, her expression curious. “And now what? Is Rachel getting a divorce? Are you guys getting married again?”

Danny shoots a quick glance in Steve’s direction, but his partner is very interested in the label of his beer bottle all of a sudden. “No!” Danny hurries to say, which makes Steve look up again. “I mean, yes, I guess she is. Getting a divorce, I mean. But we’re not together anymore.”

This time the stretch of silence is a bit awkward and Danny can feel the weight of Steve’s gaze on him.

It’s Chin who speaks first. “Oh, I’m sorry, man. What happened?”

Danny just grins and shakes his head. “It’s okay. We’re okay. Rachel and I got a little carried away, we were a little stupid, but there are reasons why we got a divorce, you know. We work better as friends and parents.” When he’s still met with skeptical expressions, Danny lets out an exasperated sigh. “Come on! I mean it! Shouldn’t we get more drunk now? I’m pretty sure that’s the tradition!”

“Hear, hear!” Mary says and clinks her beer bottle against Danny’s.

 

***

 

It’s late when their little party finally dissolves. Chin, Kono and Jenna have just left to share a cab - and make sure the very, very drunk Agent Kaye gets home safely. Turns out she can’t hold her liquor like the other girls, but then again, Mary and Kono are hard to match. Mary has already retreated to her childhood bedroom an hour ago, right after hugging the stuffing out of her brother once more. And Kamekona... well, he has vanished somehow. You would think a guy this big would be easy to spot, but Danny has no idea where he has gone. He’s not too worried, though.

Danny is still sitting in the sand next to Steve and he couldn’t be more content. The night air is warm, but there’s a cool breeze coming from the ocean. He’s a little drowsy from the long day and the alcohol, but Danny doesn’t feel like heading home anytime soon and he probably isn’t going to. It wouldn’t be the first time that he’s crashed in Steve’s other guest room - actually he has spent so many nights in it, that Steve has started to refer to it as “Danny’s room”. With a content little sigh, Danny lies back and stretches out in the cool sand. Tomorrow he will regret this when he wakes up with sand in his boxers, but right now he doesn’t care much.

Steve has been staring across the ocean with an unreadable expression, but when he notices Danny’s shift in position, he instantly follows suit and directs his gaze towards the sky. This is definitely something Danny hasn’t done in a while, just lying down outside and looking at the stars, but it’s nice. More than nice, actually.

It’s Steve who breaks the silence after a long while. “Are you okay?” he asks and Danny is hit by yet another wave of tenderness for this guy who worries about his well-being as if Danny were the one who just spent six weeks in prison.

“Sure I am,” Danny answers. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Danny, I mean it.” Steve’s voice is low and serious. “Are you really okay, with Rachel and everything?”

“Trust me, everything’s fine. I’m more than okay.” Danny insists. “We’re so glad to have you back. You have no idea. We missed you.” He hesitates for a moment. “I missed you.”

Danny almost starts to panic a little when Steve doesn’t answer. But then Steve’s hand brushes Danny’s, a light touch so electrifying, it almost makes Danny jerk. Maybe it happened by accident, but somehow Danny doesn’t think so. His pulse quickens. He recognizes an opportunity when he sees it, there have been similar moments before, but until recently Danny had been too busy ignoring his feelings to act on them.

He moves slowly and carefully, once he’s finally mustered enough courage. He reaches out and places his hand on Steve’s, which startles a little gasp out of the other man. For a split second Danny thinks Steve is going to pull his hand free, but he just turns it, so their palms brush against each other. Danny’s hyper-aware of the way his own fingertips ghost over Steve’s until their hands are firmly intertwined and Danny lets out a shaky breath.

Neither of them speaks for a while. Once Danny’s heart-rate has slowed down again it’s so quiet and peaceful that Danny is almost tempted to let himself fall asleep right then and there. He’s actually beginning to drift off a little, when Steve gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Hey,” Steve says softly. “I missed you, too.”


End file.
